Nep Talk
by Blade of Justice
Summary: "Hey Noire?" On a hot and lazy summer day, the last CPUs you'd expect it from manage to have some girl talk... or something to that effect. "You ever wanna confess to somebody?"
1. Chapter 1

For once, the respective CPUs of Planeptune and Lastation were spending the day together by themselves. Such a legendary, once in a life time occurrence was the stuff of legends, that even now, just to balance out such a moment of impossibility, elsewhere, their sisters, Nepgear and Uni were...

Well, maybe it being impossibly and legendary was a bit much.

Even so... It was something. For Neptune and Noire to be alone and _not_ trying to tear into each other, rare in and of itself, but here they were, just sitting around, lazing about playing a game. Perhaps it had something to do with it being a particularly hot summer — the two CPUs had initially made plans to do... to do... well, they had planned to do _something_ today, something full of spirit and competition, but Neptune had commented on how sweaty they'd get, Noire had gotten flustered, there had been ice cream in the fridge and some games to play, and before they knew it...

Somehow, now they found themselves zoned out on the couch playing a racing game, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Was the overzealous heat of the sun really all it took to solve the problems of the warring goddesses of Gamindustri? Someone should have tried breaking an air conditioner or something years ago if this was all it took...!

Whatever the case, it was all of this that had led to Neptune and Noire having a calm afternoon of calm moments just lying about on the couch.

It was during one such calm moment of _particular_ calmness, that period of zen during a racing game that happens when players know the tracks well and are just zoned out and enjoying themselves, that Neptune suddenly found the urge to speak up.

"Hey Noire?"

"Huh? What?"

Neptune randomly speaking her mind wasn't a particularly unusual event, as Neptune had a big mouth and she was often prone to using it. If anything, it would be stranger of her to _not_ be using her mouth to be doing something. No, what was strange, what made this _more_ than just a little unusual, what was came _out_ of her mouth when she spoke up next.

"You ever wanna confess to somebody? Like, you know... The whole dramatic wham, bam, sparkly flower petals, tell 'em you wanna shack up with 'em?" There was a pause. It was the most natural thing in the world — Neptune had needed to focus on the game so she could turn. "Hehe, whew! But yeah, yeah, so like, you ever just wanna do something like that to anyone?"

A beat.

A pin dropping would have sounded like the war horns of Lowee and Leanbox.

"Oh yeah, I guess I gotta know if you've ever felt like that about somebody else, huh? Have you?"

As far as she was concerned, Noire was fairly certain the screeching, halting, crashing noise wasn't just coming from what the fact that her racer had just careened off of the side of the track and exploded masterfully into the side of a building.

The thought that had spurred this question of Neptune's was surely just another random one of her crazy and random ones, Noire assured herself. Neptune never _thought_ about things like that. It was just so... out there for her.

The twintailed goddess shook her head, letting her hair whipping around chase away any of those nasty, nasty thoughts. Shoo, she said to them, shoo!

"W-What, are you saying _you_ have? That _you've_ wanted to... to..." Oh, Noire couldn't even finish!

"Eeeeeeh, you're asking me? _Noooiiiiiire_... That's so _bold_!" Neptune seemed as playful as ever — just like her. Noire supposed she should have expected that from her. It _was_ just _Neptune_ after all — she wouldn't know what it felt like to have feelings for someone if they hit her in the face and declared they were on a limited time only flash sale. "I _am_ a _lady_ you know." She winked, sticking out her tongue playfully. '"Course I have!"

"Hmph, right, that's what I thought you'd sa-" Noire stalled. Again, she was fairly certain this had nothing to do with the virtual car in front of her. In no universe had she ever imagined Neptune would have responded to that question with an affirmative answer. She looked to her side, gobsmacked, sure she would see Neptune looking back at her with a "Gotcha!" expression on her face, but no, she didn't find anything of the sort there. "Huh?"

Neptune was focusing on the game. Her expression wasn't one of someone who had just told a big punchline — it was one of someone who had said something natural and true. It wasn't her usual Tryhard Mode face, saved when she _really_ got into a game, but it was definitely _one_ of her gaming faces. Noire had seem all of them enough times to be able to recognize them... N-Not that she looked away from the screen to see them often or anything, though!

 _More importantly_! There was always the possibility Neptune was pulling her leg, of course — this _was_ Neptune — but how could Noire figure it out without giving away that this joke might just be getting under her skin a little?

"Huh? Huh? What's with the silent treatment? Don't leave me hanging here! I can't spill my girlish secrets alone now- Have you or not?" Now Neptune was puffing out her cheeks and acting for the world like she was completely and totally on the level, which just frustrated Noire even more. She... She had no right to sit there and act like she was being honest at a time like this! It was indecent! There was no _way_ this was the truth! Noire wouldn't accept it! Noire couldn't! "C'mon, I'm _trying_ to make small talk here, but it's gonna be _no_ talk if you don't respond. Gimme something to work with, would ya?"

... Unless...

... Could it be...? Was it possible...? Had the fates finally aligned...?!

Was Neptune... Wasn't this the perfect situation for a confession itself...?!

It wasn't like Neptune had said she had **confessed** to someone, she had said she had **wanted to confess** to someone! Those two things were completely and totally different, weren't they?!

Steeling herself, Noire took a breath and roused herself from her thoughts. Had her promised time finally arrived? She may have been a goddess of many, many years... But was she finally about to enter the springtime of youth she had longed for? Was this moment she had been dreaming of for so long? No, that wasn't the thing to ask, with this mood, what else would it be? She needed to still her maidenly heart! Was she ready for this? Was her heart ready for this? She didn't know if she was ready for this! It was too soon! She wasn't ready! Aaaah, Neptune, no, stop, stoooooppppp...!

"I don't believe you," she informed Neptune, her voice as cocky as ever, her eyes sparkling with challenge. She gave nothing away, not her pounding heart, not the mental version of herself frantically running around all over her heart's depths... Nope, none of it. "Why should I tell you anything about me if you could just be pulling my leg to get something out of me? It'd explain why today's been going so smoothly..."

She knew she was playing the role of the tsundere to a T right now. For her part, at least this time, she was doing it on purpose, but how could she not in this golden opportunity of a situation? Maybe, if she was lucky, ohhh, just maybe... Maybe she would lead Neptune riiiiight into her perfect confes...

"Today's going 'smoothly' 'cause we'd totally die if we went outside like we were gonna, Noire." ...sion. Or not. Unfortunately, Neptune just made a face and returned her focus to the game. "I'm a Pudding Type Neppymon, I'll melt if I go out there right now... Or worse, I'd get super sunburned if we went to the beach like we were going to. Who'd want Fried Neppen Wings? Not me!"

As she did her best to ease the crestfallen feeling that her time hadn't come... _yet_... Noire snorted. Trust Neptune to make _everything_ about food and games somehow. Not that she disliked that.

"That's because you don't have any meat on you. It would just be the breading and bones." She informed her rival, smirking as she earned the reaction she had hoped for ("Whaaaaaat!?"). So maybe she'd gotten her hopes up for nothing — at least it had let her pull ahead in the race. "Now eat my dust!"

"Not if you eat mine first!"

Just like that, as quickly as it had been brought up, any talk of confessions and romance was left behind them in the virtual wind.


	2. Chapter 2

Once the Lastation-Planeptune-lazing-about duo got back their grand racing adventure, little of comparable interest seemed like it was going to happen. After a while, Noire had almost completely forgotten that strange conversation she had had with Neptune earlier. They had eventually opted to ditch games when a computer player had gotten a lead on Neptune and she had decided to be spiteful about it. Standard Neptune behavior. Nothing unusual about that, really.

Now, as peaceful as they could be, the pair found themselves lazing about watching TV and munching on snacks.

"Bwahahaha...! That actress looks like she got plastic surgery, doesn't she? Look at her nose, Noire, look at it!"

"Hey, Neptune, we're 2D... We don't _need_ plastic surgery. Stop that, would you?"

"Uwaaaah, Noire, that's scary... Even _I_ don't get that real about it..."

"W-Well you were being mean!"

Well... As close to peaceful as they could be, anyway.

Noire sighed. This was what she got for trying to keep up with Neptune's pace. Honestly, what she saw in this CPU, she hadn't the slightest idea. Maybe she'd be better off just going home and getting some work done.

... is what she said to herself, but she reached for some more popcorn and made no moves to move all the same. I-It was just because it was too hot to make the trip back though, that was all it was. She'd go when it cooled down in a little while. Maybe after dinner. Maybe they could go out.

Because a restaurant would have air conditioning, after all. That's what it was. Really.

"It was Plutie."

"Eh?"

"Plutie." When had this happened? Neptune was looking at her more seriously now.

The lights weren't turning on. It was all dark in Noire's Lastation Home apartment.

Caught up in her daydreaming about Neptune and her going out for a meal by themselves — now that really _would_ have been a legendary event! — Noire didn't register that Neptune had said a name at first. It was a name she had heard so rarely that even after Neptune repeated herself, Noire still didn't register what was going on.

"The conversation from before? Keep up, Noire..." Neptune sighed. She had an odd expression on her face. It wasn't exactly serious, because she was still kind of smiling, but she was looking annoyed too... It was definitely a _Neptune_ expression, but... What was Neptune talking about anyway? The only conversation from before that Noire could think of didn't make sense here, did it? "So _anyway_... Like I was _saaaayiiiing_... I tried to tell Plutie I wanted us to... uh... Ehehehe, this is actually more embarrassing telling you than it was her..."

What was going on here?

"I mean I mean I mean _I meeeeaaan_ , we were already basically married anyway, you know? So I was like... 'Pluuuuutiiiiie, you're the pudding to my spoon! Let's tie the knot already!' ... Ah! I said it! I'm gonna die! Ahahahaha! I can't believe I finally told somebody!"

The black haired goddess felt the blood leaving her cheeks — coincidentally while she watched blood rush to Neptune's — as it dawned on her that Neptune was recalling a story to her. A story from her past. A story of an event from her past that _must have happened to Neptune, in case it wasn't clear!_

After all, there was no way, no way no way no way _noooo waaaaaaaaaay_ , that Neptune could be saying that she hadn't just wanted to... But that she actually had gone and...

"She turned me down though... Okay, _duh_ , you'd know if she didn't, right?" The stick of candy in Neptune's mouth shifted from one side to the other. What in the world had brought this conversation on? Whatever had done it, Noire was hanging onto every word. It was rare for Neptune to be so thoughtful — then again, it was probably rare for things like getting rejected by someone she cared about to happen in the first place. "She said I was just trying to replace something. Oooooh, soooo deeeeeep, am I right?" Neptune scowled, making herself look extra angry for effect. Noire wasn't sure if it succeeded or not. "We had a big fight about it, 'cause I was like 'Plutie, just reject me the normal way! Don't try to sound smart! At least whip me a little so I can have something to remember you by before I go back to being scared by it!'"

Noire gaped. What kind of reaction was that?! What kind of relationship had the two of them had _before_ this confession of Neptune's, for that matter...?!

Actually... A pretty Neptune-sounding one, if she was completely honest with herself, but she really, _really_ didn't want to be right now.

"For once, she didn't. The nerve of her! Instead she just said she thought she wasn't smart and she went around bragging to everybody she met that day that I told her that I thought she was smart. Totally missed the point!" Neptune puffed out her cheeks in frustration, clearly caught up in the memory of Plutia's way of turning her down. "And she had to be so... so... so..."

The black haired girl beside her wasn't sure if she wanted to know the end of that sentence. So... _what_?

"So _cute_ about doing it! No wonder the Noire over there was all over her! It gets me so _mad_!"

Despite how she was feeling at this revelation, Noire nearly fell over hearing that declaration of Neptune's. Wasn't this that crazy CPU that beat people up with toys and whipped them...? How could Neptune be talking about her like _that_?

Then again, they _did_ live together for all those years... If that as the case, then... Noire felt some of the warmth start to return as she continued down this train of thought. After all, if she and Neptune had spent all of that time together, they would have known each other really well, wouldn't they? So this Plutia... Maybe she...

... No no no, don't do that, Noire told herself. She was just going to get her hopes up again. If anything, judging by this new information, didn't this mean Neptune's tastes were more like... like... like _Vert_ 's? Briefly shuddering, Noire shook away the thought — and then realized that Neptune had stopped speaking. Seeing an opening, she decided to chance it and see if her earlier thought had a little merit to it.

"She thought you were making her into a replacement for something?" After a few moments more of consideration, Noire found herself asking the question. After all, now that she was sure it hadn't worked out, the shock and worry about it... didn't have much reason to be there, did it? Even so, that this whole "Neptune really had thought she was in love with someone and had gone as far as to try to confess it to them"... She had to admit, she was actually really, really curious about it. "That's a little deep for you, don't you think?"

"Right?!" Swiveling around to look at Noire, glad to see _someone_ understood that her head was full of nothing but cotton candy and pudding, Neptune nodded vehemently. "See!? You get me, Noire! Ohhhhh, if only you had been there instead of that other one — she was just glad I was out of the running, that _skank_!"

Neptune's fellow CPU was torn. She almost laughed, hearing Neptune — _Neptune_ of all people! — just yell "skank!" out like that, and maybe, just _maybe_ , _actually mean it_ the way it was intended to be used... but then, that would be laughing at "her" own expense, and that wasn't even taking into account the matter of her pride. And her pride was already making it pretty difficult to not openly enjoy being praised just a moment prior as it was.

"So yeah!" Neptune nodded to Noire, crossing her arms over her chest. "She musta thought I was replacing her for something 'cause I wasn't really from there. Isn't that just the lamest cliche you ever heard? Like I couldn't go over there whenever I wanted now. Nope, still nothing. She's sticking to that homesickness mumbo jumbo."

Noire blinked. So... Just a replacement for a homey sort of feeling? That was all?

"Oh... That's what you meant..."

She sighed. Should have known better, really, but that was what she got.

She _also_ should have known that now that Neptune was done with her story, the only thing left was-

"How about you, Lonely Heart?" Neptune asked, teasingly elbowing Noire in the side before the black haired CPU could comprehend just what it was that Neptune was asking for from her. "Got any stories or what?"

Narrowing her eyes at Neptune, which earned her a pair of arms put up defensively, Noire considered her options. After Neptune had confided in her like this... She _could_ take the big risk here, but maybe... Maybe sharing a similar story of her own was the better thing to do. Besides, didn't it mean that Neptune didn't feel the same way about her if she hadn't confessed herself? It had to, right?

"I... If I tell you this... You have to _swear_ not to tell anyone..." Noire felt the blood rushing to her cheeks at just the thought of telling Neptune what she was going to tell her. She could still back out — or better yet, she could _lie_ — but... No, she had to do it! There was no two ways about it! Swallowing audibly, Noire glared at Neptune — a meaningless look thanks to how hard she was blushing at this point. "D-Do you swear?!"

"Seriously? For realsies, Noire?" Neptune seemed to be completely enthralled with Noire now — if it had been over any other topic (well, maybe not _any_ other topic...), Noire _almost_ might have been enjoying the attention. As this was not the case, however... She might have rather seen Neptune just leave, or reject her outright. "Oh come on, now you just _gotta_ tell me now! I swear, I swear!"

Damn. Out of luck then.

Was she going to do this?

Was she going to do this?

Was she reeeeeaaaally going to do this?

Noire took a deep breath in.

"N... Now listen, b-before you get the wrong idea, this was a long time ago, alright? Before things calmed down between all of us and... And, well..." It looked like Neptune either understood or just didn't particularly care — she just wanted _the name_. Taking a deep breath in, Noire readied herself. It wasn't like this mattered _anymore_... so long as it never got back to the person in question, anyway, but... What were the chances of _that_ happening...? "I... It was Kei."

As soon as the words left her lips and she saw the expression on Neptune's face, Noire wondered if she should have just lied. Who said there was anything wrong with lying? No one she knew, that was for sure!

"Don't stop there!" Clenching her fists together into tight balls, Neptune was giving Noire her full attention. "I want deets, girl! Gimme the goods, even if they're all nasty and expired! Mine were years old and moldy, so don't hold anything back on me!"

A beat.

This was the girl that got Noire so flustered?

Someone that referred to issues of love and the heart with words like "old and moldy"? _Her own_ issues at that?

Well... That was Neptune for you, Noire supposed.

"I-It's not much of a story..." Noire shook her head. She couldn't very well come out and tell Neptune what was on her mind in that moment — that how the attention she was getting now, in this moment, and how it made her feel compared to how she would feel back then was the perfect example of why it just couldn't have... "I just... I really admired her work ethic."

The excitement in Neptune's gaze began to slip away. She didn't have to say it. Noire knew she was thinking "that's it?" right then. _She_ would have thought that herself, had she been an observer and not known there was more to the story.

"Don't give me that look!" Noire hurriedly added, her cheeks flushing crimson. All the same, she really wished Neptune had just let the two of them play games in peace! "That was just how it started... I didn't _just_ like that about her, okay?"

Sure enough, Neptune's attention was coming back.

"So what else did you like about her?" The purple haired goddess inquired. She was practically bouncing now, either from amusement or surprise, Noire didn't know. "I mean, it's that stuff Kei, isn't it? I would have thought you were going to say something like you had an affair with some random secretary or something after how pent up you get-"

"A-As if something as ridiculous as that would ever happen!" Noire had a mind to leave after an insult like that! Just what kind of person did Neptune take her for anyway?! "I-I just- I started noticing things about her, that's all it was, okay?! That happens once you start... Well..." Noire found the burst of energy she'd received from wanting to smack that insult out of Neptune fading away. "You... You know what I mean! Idiot..."

Neptune paused. She seemed to be considering Noire's words. Perhaps reflecting on her own experiences?

"Yeah, that's true." Wow. Noire was actually surprised. Neptune relating to her about something? Was it a blue moon last night? "'Kay, I'll let you have that one..."

Noire held her breath. She knew it was coming — the question. She'd have to talk about the things she liked about Kei next, didn't she? What had got her interested in her own Oracle... That was a can of worms that was inevitable now, wasn't it? It had to be. Judging by Neptune's train of questioning so far...

"..."

"..."

...?

... _Judging by Neptune's train of questioning so far...!_

"..."

The black haired goddess blinked. Neptune wasn't saying it. She wasn't actually saying anything.

"Um... Not that I'm saying I'm willing to answer you or anything here, but..." Averting her eyes shyly, Noire began poking her index fingers together. "Aren't you going to ask me what else I liked about her?"

"If I did that, I'd have to talk about Plutie again, right?" Neptune sounded nostalgic. Surprisingly so. It made Noire almost... jealous. No, not almost. It didn't help at all that she had a weird smile on her face too. "I'm totes over it and all, but as far as that goes, how's about we say we're even stevens on that one? 'Cause I'd be here for a while if you got me started, ya know what I mean?"

Not sure if she was glad for an out or disappointed that she and Neptune wouldn't continue this... strange... whatever it was even further, Noire nodded. At least she didn't have to share the details, so that was a plus, right?

"Then what happened?" Neptune's eyes were on her again — it seemed Noire's question had brought her out of that brief trance she'd been in a moment ago, so at least Noire could say she'd accomplished that much. "You're not still pining for her, are you? You made it sound like you weren't, but..." A beat. "Okay, okay, don't gimme that look! Sheesh... So?"

Noire was silent for a moment.

Neptune tilted her head.

The real answer to the question was easy enough.

It was one word easy. Four at most if she needed to be especially wordy about it.

She opted for a different method.

"At first... I really liked how organized she was. She was so _motivated_ , and always on point — _no one_ else was like that around me." Noire started off hesitant, but sure enough, as she continued, she began to find her voice. "She was punctual, she was precise... She was so _good_ , Neptune. She didn't mess around, and when everyone else was, and I was so bent on competing with-"

"Hey, I said you didn't have to-"

Holding up a hand at the other CPU, Noire shook her head, frowning at Neptune in the patented "s-shut up, dummy, and listen to what I have to say!" tsundere way she was so good at doing.

"You don't have to say anything, but I want to." Noire explained quietly. Taking a moment to collect herself again, the goddess nodded, finding her memories again, and proceeded to continue her trip down memory lane once more. "She stole me and didn't even know it... A-At first."

"At first?" Neptune gave Noire a quizzical look. "You guys get into a fight?"

"No, no, it wasn't like that, stupid. It was just... Um... at some point, before I knew it... I realized I... I realized that I wanted something more sporadic from the person I wanted that kind of thing from. Someone who would sit around fun with me instead of just work... Someone messy, sporadic..." Noire swallowed. Dare she say so much? "R... Random, even."

She dared!

Lastation's goddess smiled, despite her the furious, furious heat she felt all over. She felt really accomplished in that moment. After all, she had just done something amazing. She had just... She... had... just... _indirectly confessed!_ Sort of. Kind of. Maybe. Just a little? Could she have an A for effort at least?

"A-Anyway, that's it as far as Kei goes." She added with a tone of finality sneaking into her voice. "I just stopped liking her one day is all. I never even confessed. I-I hate to say it, but... You actually won, if everything you said is true... But you said you wouldn't tell anyone, so you'd better not!"

For a second, Neptune didn't say or do anything — but then, as if tasered or slapped, she shook her head furiously.

"W-Wait a sec, I started this, so that goes for you too, Humble Heart! D-Don't try to start this off on me and then turn around and talk about my amazing love life to people behind my back, or I'm gonna declare war on you!" Tripping over her words, Neptune still managed to do her best impression of Phoenix Down as she pointed at Noire with all the enthusiasm of Lowee's famous attorney. "You take that knowledge to your grave!"

"Ohhhhh? And what if I don't...?"

"Then I'll send you there myself!"

"Hah! Like you could!"

"You wanna bet on that?"

"Maybe I do!""

"Now she's done it! Little Miss Tsundere and her bad taste in girls is gonna be sooooorryyyy!"

"W-What was that?! I'll make you eat those words, Neptune!"

Somehow, the familiarity of the scene was lost on the CPUs as they hurriedly made the preparations to resume their gaming. Typical of them.


	3. Chapter 3

In the end, despite how many times the declaration had been made, no words had been eaten by neither Neptune or Noire.

Naturally, the two CPUs had resumed their gaming session once again after their most recent scuffle. However, rather than a racing game, this time they had opted for a fighting game, in the hopes they would find a clear winner and once and for all decide who was the... well, they weren't sure after a while, they were so caught up in fighting. Something about taste? Had they been arguing about food?

After a few dozen rounds of hard boiled action, they weren't really sure anymore.

Even more unfortunately for this determined duo of divas, after so many rounds, it was apparent that they weren't getting anywhere. The results were so close that neither CPU found themselves particularly happy with winning just _one_ match at this point. They found themselves at a loss! How could they decide who was... whatever they were trying to decide at this point? Where to order food from, maybe...?

And that was when one of them had casually remarked that _this_ particular fighting game had a character customization option...

It didn't take long to figure what would happen next.

"Hahaha, what do you think of my handiwork? It totally looks just like you, Neptune!"

"H-Hey, I have _some_ boobies... Gimme that! I demand the controller! Do as I say, or I'll make yours bald!"

"Fine, here, ta-Hey, you don't need to _grab_!"

"Victory!"

"Hmph..." Noire settled back down into her seat as Neptune eagerly began messing with the Neptune character they had been building for their epic rematch together. At first, it was going smoothly enough... sort of. Neptune had taken away her hoodie for some weird battle armor, but fine, Noire supposed they didn't _have_ to dress like they normally did so long as they could recognize who they were. And when she added a little to her height, Noire held her tongue even then. Everyone liked to roleplay sometimes, right? Even if that _totally defeated the purpose here_ , who was she to judge?

After all, when she came in and made a perfect, _gorgeous_ replica of herself and beat down this weird looking thing Neptune was... making...

Watching the _real_ Neptune move the number on the chest customization tool on the screen as high as it could go, leaving the character in a state that put both Vert and Peashy to shame _at once_ , though... That was just painful.

"Now let's start on my butt!" The girl whose only resemblance to the woman on screen was her hair color declared gleefully.

Aaaaand that was enough. Noire could see an intervention was in order. _Immediately_.

"Okay, okay, _stop_. Neptune, you said 'some,' not 'look, I've got dogoos in my shirt!' Give me that back." Without waiting for Neptune to even make a word of protest, Noire snatched the controller back from the other CPU before she could do any more damage to the fighter-to-be on the screen. " _Honestly_ , have _some_ pride, would you? Just because you can't be as good looking as me doesn't mean you have to have stupid complexes like Blanc does... We don't need two of you running around."

Prepared with the best retort ever, a retort to make Noire _so_ self conscious about herself she'd make her own fighter look _nothing_ like herself, Neptune opened her mouth to deliver the best, most devastating, most fantabunepriffic insult ever... and caught herself as she caught a glance at _herself_ looking down at her from on the screen.

Unlike when Noire had been messing around earlier... Now, Noire's take on "her" was actually kind of pretty. It was less hideously proportioned than hers from a moment earlier was, anyway.

"Now let's find something to put in your hair..." Looking totally cut off from the world, Noire's eyes were shooting across menus, clearly in search of something to match those so familiar ornaments that Neptune wore. The craziest thing about this, Neptune realized, was that Noire hadn't looked over at her _once_ since she had taken over the controls. "Ah! That'll work. Perfect."

Well... How about that then?

Although... Wait. Neptune blinked, remembering her earlier thoughts. Hold on a second! If she didn't hurry, her window for getting in a comeback would slip away! Quick, she had to think of something fast, or she'd look like she had given Noire that victory!

"Heeeeeeeh... I never said I didn't have pride, Booby Heart." Neptune coughed into her hand awkwardly. That was not the master insult she had intended to say before. It was too bad, really- The timing was gone. "It sounds to me like you're making it sound like you think my pretty self _is_ something to be proud of... What's with that? You're losing your touch, Noire!"

Ha... Hahahaha! T-Take that, Noire! Neptune's Fail Combo! It, uh, it puts tsunders off guard and then she'll come back with the _real_ finisher after! Th-That's what it is!

Surprisingly, Noire didn't respond to Neptune's comment. Whether she had been failing at insulting her or trying to egg Noire on for more... something, information or who knew what, Neptune wasn't sure, but she wasn't apparently going to be getting it. Was this really Noire?

Neptune was so surprised that she actually pinched herself — ow! — and still, nothing happened. Why wasn't Noire snapping or chewing her head off? That was the _perfect_ comment for one of Noire's usual, flustered remarks! Could it be that Noire... Oh, Neptune had no idea! What was the answer!? This was _so_ unlike Noire! Neptune was in uncharted territory here!

Less than she actually realized, though. The real answer to Neptune's conundrum was _extremely_ Noire-like. Little did she know it, but what Neptune was witnessing was really nothing more than shy old Noire showing a side of herself she usually didn't show to others. All in all, it was really no different than some of the other things they'd done together today.

"You're pretty good at that." The purple haired CPU remarked after a few moments more of watching Noire create. She hadn't intended to say it. She hadn't intended _not_ to say it either. Really, she hadn't even realized she had been thinking it. It was true, so she had said it.

It seemed to take a moment, though not much longer, for Neptune's comment to register. Once processed, Noire's fingers stopped their focused movements.

"Thanks."

It was strangely natural. Neither flustered nor forced.

"Yeah, yeah... Y'know, I'm kinda surprised..." Feeling she had the 'go-ahead' from Noire now, or maybe this too was just coming from her, Neptune continued. "I wouldn'ta pegged you for the type to get so into this. It's more Vert's kind of thing, isn't it?"

There was a brief pause on Noire's end. She neither spoke nor resumed the game, rather, she seemed to be mulling something over.

"Oh, well... We've cross played some games sometimes, Vert and I, so I want my character to look nice... And Uni too, sometimes." It wasn't the most confident answer, but it seemed like a reasonable one... if not for the fact that she clearly was still intending to speak. Now came a bit of a pause on Noire's end. It was as if she was debating something, like she was weighing the pros and cons of what she was about to say next. It wasn't like she would be _risking_ anything replying to Neptune, would it? "I always... try to pay a lot of attention to detail when putting my outfits together. I wouldn't want to look like I'm not fashionable or anything you know...!"

While Noire nodded to herself with that, as if she had just given Neptune confident affirmation of something, Neptune felt like Noire was leaving something out. But that... _sounded_ silly and cocky enough, not to mention _tsun_ enough, for a Noire answer...

And why had that first answer of Noire's made Neptune feel like Noire had said something _dangerously_ close to something else that... that... thaaaaaaat...

After a moment, her eyes widened in realization.

 _Cosplay!_

That was it! _That_ was what this was, wasn't it?! She was witnessing the same state of mind Noire must have as _when she worked on her cosplay_!

Was this luck? Should Neptune thank the... the herself for this moment, or use it while she could for some prime time teasing? What a chance she had been given! But... Oddly enough, she wasn't really in the mood to take advantage of it and kill the mood just yet. Besides, she still had to play the game, right? And, like, maybe she and Noire could pig out later or something too, right? After all, this _had_ been... kinda fun, yeah? Yeah...

Just as she was thinking _positively_ about this situation — Celestia forbid! — Neptune was pulled out of her ruminations suddenly by something thick and plastic poking on her shoulder. Giving Noire the strangest expression she could muster, Neptune made to shove the controller away.

"Okay, okay, I'm listening!" When did Noire get to be the pokey type anyway? Wasn't that her job? Ack! Someone was gonna steal her niche? Not if she had anything to say about it... "Alright, what gives?"

"You don't have to be so dramatic about it..." Noire rolled her eyes before clearing her throat. Neptune had to smile awkwardly. She had probably been the one to act all weird there, rather than Noire, hadn't she? Well, good! That was her niche too, wasn't it? "So Neptune, I was thinking... Now don't say anything, but will you listen to me about something?"

"What's up, Heart Stuff?"

Noire raised an eyebrow at the name, but chose not to comment on it. Besides, she had something more important to discuss with her fellow CPU now anyway.

"About the fight... I just got a really crazy idea. Now don't say anything until I finish, okay? Because, well..." Coughing into her hand, Noire seemed as though she still was unsure as to whether or not whatever she was planning was a good idea. Now that she had spoken up, however, she didn't really have the ability to not finish her thought. "What if we make two more characters?"

Neptune blinked. Where was this coming from?

"Hold on..." Neptune tilted her head. Was Noire going to go for a "You make me, I make you, then we make ourselves!" kind of angle with this? That would only have worked if they'd been blindfolded or in different rooms, wouldn't it? Tilting her head to the other side, Neptune repeated Noire's words for good measure. "Two more?"

"Two more." Noire nodded. Why was she being so serious all of a sudden!?

"Yeah, Noire, I heard you the first time!" How could she have repeated what Noire had just said if she hadn't?! Before Noire could protest, Neptune thrust her arms to her side, almost stomping her foot just to hammer her point home that much further. " _That'_ s not what I want to know! What I want to know is _who_ are the two more?"

"Oh... _Who_..." The black haired CPU's response was quiet. As if she hadn't expected this. Why wouldn't she have?

Well well, what was this, then?

Now Noire had clammed up all of a sudden. Neptune was very... _intrigued_ now, to say the least.

"Well, um..." Noire averted her eyes. She swallowed. " _About_ that..."

Now Neptune was _really_ curious. It must have been reeeeaaally good

"Plutia and Kei."

 _NOPENOPENOPE_.

The speed that Neptune's face changed expressions, the way the blood rushed away from her face, it was almost like she had traded in one facial sprite for another. It was surreal, like something out of one of Vert's games.

" _What the nepping_ _ **nep**_ _are you-"_

"Y-You take Plutia and I take Kei!" Noire hurriedly added, holding up her hands as if this addition would explain everything. It made sense to _her_ , at least. "I-It would be symbolic!"

Neptune did not agree with the sentiment.

In fact, it appeared that Neptune _so_ did not agree with the sentiment — or _so_ did not want to be caught by _anyone_ beating up a Plutia avatar behind the other CPU's back — that Neptune promptly stood up and left the room.

Considering how well everything had been going up to this point, suffice to say, Lastation's CPU couldn't help but feel a _little_ disappointed. Noire stared, watching her leave. Had she spoken out of turn? Was the original plan _really_ that much better...?

"... Ah..."

... Well, maybe not...?

Returning with a glass of water she had gone to retrieve from the kitchen, Neptune took a long drink of it and spit it out, spraying water everywhere in the most comical, over the top manner she could muster.

"That's the craziest idea I've ever heard in my entire life! Plutia would kill me!"

Contrary to her words, however, Neptune just grinned at Noire, slinging an arm over the other CPU's shoulder.

Suddenly Noire got a bad feeling about this.

"Which is why we're gonna do the friendly thing and switch off." Neptune pushed even closer. They were practically cheek to cheek now. "Like friends."

"Eh?" Noire wasn't sure what thing to react to as Neptune pulled away. The proximity she had just had and then lost with Neptune? The "switch off" Neptune hadn't fully explained? That Neptune had just called Noire her f... f... f...

Before Noire could finish that f... f... f... f...ing thought, Neptune placed her hands on Noire's shoulders, looking the black haired goddess square in the eyes.

" _I'll_ fight Kei for _you_ and _you_ can fight Plutia for _me_." If there had ever been a time for Neptune's teeth to glint dramatically, or maybe her eyes — or both even! — this was it. "How's _that_ for symbolic? Gets you all hot and bothered, right?"

Neptune was confident that Noire would back out of this now that Neptune had pushed Plutia onto her. Even as a computer controlled character, this was Plutia they were talking about. Who would want to take on a challenge like that? It wasn't like back when she was still interested in the other Planeptune CPU. She would much rather just pass this on — or pass on the fight entirely! Why would she want to fight Plutie in the first place?

Besides, for some reason, she kind of didn't want to fight against Noire as much anymore anyway, so...

"That's a _great_ idea!"

Wait what? What what what?

"You'll have to make her for me though, okay?" Why was Noire smiling like that at her? Were those sparkles? They couldn't be, right? Noire didn't sparkle. She was seeing things as a result of the prospect of facing Plutia's wrath, that had to be. "I don't remember her as well, and you need to make it as close to accurate as possible!"

Neptune was aghast.

She would be.

She had no idea she had just told Noire to — _symbolically_ , only _symbolically_ , that is — destroy her one, and as far as she knew only, rival in love.

Anyone would have taken _that_ challenge up.


	4. Chapter 4

"I can't believe it..."

"Believe it."

"But how can anything be _that_ one sided...?"

"I told you not to underestimate this, didn't I?"

"This is impossible..."

The the grueling battle between the Noire and Plutia characters in the mighty digital coliseum before them had concluded. Neptune had watched without so much as breathing during this epic conflict, knowing without a doubt how it was to end, but when all was said and done...

Noire was beaming. Neptune was staring.

Things had not gone as expected.

The word **PERFECT** was on display on the television screen, blinking on and off in front of the Noire character as she stood victoriously atop the fallen body of the Plutia character. It hadn't even taken her a full fifty seconds for two matches to do it, either. Nothing like it could ever happen in the real world, obviously, but as far as this virtual one was concerned... No matter how much the virtual Plutia tried, it had been the most one sided thing Neptune had seen since Planeptune's great Sonia Boom tragedy.

It had been magical, really. It had gone better than Noire could have possibly hoped it could have. She had thoroughly destroyed Neptune's past love... symbolically, anyway... and thanks to the ultimate and sacred power of video games, of which they governed over, now she had proven herself! Now, thanks to this trial, she and Neptune could go off and... and...

M-Maybe... they would eat a cup of pudding together... That is to say... They could eat one _single_... _shared_ cup of pudding together...

... _with just one spoon between the two of them_?!

No, no no no, she still wasn't ready for their relationship to be taken to that level yet! It was so perverse! It was so bold! It was so... good... Truly, victory was as sweet as it was said to be!

"This feels... a lot more complicated than I thought it would..." At last having digested the shocking defeat of Plutie('s avatar) at Noire's hands of all things, Neptune finally admitted how she felt about things, much to Noire's surprise. Then again, Noire had gone from beaming to slipping away into a fantasy, so maybe anything would have surprised her at this point...

Shaking her head to return to reality, Noire gave Neptune a hesitant look. She really did kind of look a little thoughtful. Maybe... Neptune had really been made to think during that match, then? She didn't _really_ expect much, but...

She found a soft smile threatening to spread across her lips.

Noire was a little proud of herself. She knew she would never be able to do that in real life. She knew deep down that in Neptune's heart, she'd never be able to do it either. Even if some miracles did happen, that's not how it worked... But this might still have led to a nice result all the same. If nothing else, she'd get to see Neptune doing the same for her shortly, so that wouldn't be so terrible. It had felt like she had... accomplished something, doing that to "Plutia." Even if it meant nothing for everyone else, she had that victory for herself.

"O-Oh?" The black haired goddess wasn't sure if she should push it. She _wanted_ to make all kinds of comments, but just this once, she'd hold back. For her own sake, that is! For... For the sake of sharing a pudding with Neptune with only one spoon (someday) too! After all, if Neptune felt complicated seeing Plutia being beaten by Noire... Couldn't that mean that there were feelings in conflict too? Which meant that there _were_ feelings for Noire at least in the running? In that case... In that case...!

"Yeah..." The smaller of the two scratched her cheek awkwardly, before giving Noire a goofy grin. She was even a little flushed! She might have been doing more than just thinking with an expression like that...

It was a sight that... Well, probably didn't effect most people, considering, but to the girl next to Neptune? Needless to say, seeing such a look directed at her, it made Noire's breath catch in her throat... if only for a moment.

"Well, I wouldn't'a made her look so life-like if I'd known you were gonna go all dominatrix on her! Just look at her down there... And you standing on her like that? Sheesh, Noire!" Unaware of Noire's thoughts, Neptune continued, her grin widening. "That perfect screen's enough to turn me into Vert over here!" She started to make some gestures with her hands. "And that fight! You really didn't hold back on her, huh? I should've had nepshots turned on for that one... No no, if anyone ever saw those, I might die for real..."

O-Oh... Oh... Ahahaha... So that's all it was? Mentally consoling herself, Noire felt her elation from her victory falling short after that. She should have really figured. This _was_ Neptune she was talking to, after all, wasn't it? She had expected that. She had _just_ told herself she hadn't expected much, and she hadn't. She wasn't going to ruin this nice time they had been having, was she?

Things were complicated indeed.

"A-Anyway! Now it's your turn, right? I wasn't the only one that was going to be doing anything here, remember?" Tossing the controller in the air and paying no mind to the confused CPU next to her, Noire crossed her arms, before crossing one leg over the other. Noire didn't even blink as Neptune practically danced in her seat trying to stop the controller from falling to the ground. She had gone from tasting the thrill of a flawless victory to feeling... fairly... _grumpy_. "Go beat up Kei for me, would you? You better not lose."

Right. Neptune still had her fight to win. That would make her feel better.

As she went through the motions of setting up the next battle, Neptune tilted her head. This had taken a strange turn all of a sudden. Noire had been so happy a minute ago too! Hadn't she wanted Neptune to be happy, seeing Plutia get all beaten up? That... was the whole idea, right? She had laid it on really thick, even though she knew doing so would probably cost her someday if Plutia ever found out, just because Noire had seemed so into it. And it had been a really good fight too! Nepgear always cried and gave up when they played against the computer that high, so Neptune knew that it had been no joke for Noire to pull that off.

Was it something she'd said?

She had chosen her words so carefully though!

Oh... Huh... Errr...

Neptune replayed their conversation in her mind as she selected the stage she would face off against Kei in. It had been normal enough for them... Oh, where would be a good place to fight Kei... The closest thing to an office she could find seemed like the best place. She'd win even when the opponent had the home field advantage. That oughta do the trick, right?

And as for what had gotten Noire so moody... She really just couldn't think of anything. Not a gosh darn thing. Nope! Noire must be being weird all on her own accord, Neptune decided.

Well... Whatevers! She had a more important thing to ask her buddyless buddy over here. That would get the ball rolling again.

"Can you say that again?" Neptune was grinning mischievously as she scooted a little closer. As expected, it took Noire just a little off guard. She didn't _really_ want that, but she wasn't going to have any fun if Noire was sitting there in a mood... and she... did _kind of_ feel like some kind of weight had been lifted seeing that fight, so she wanted to repay the other CPU properly. "'Cause I wanna record it."

Noire blinked. She didn't really grasp Neptune's meaning.

"Record it?" Had she said something? Was Neptune suddenly turning into the kind of girl who wanted to keep Noire's voice with her? Even Noire hadn't gotten to that kind of Vert-level affection yet... Not that she had talked to Vert about that sort of thing or anything after some of their cross playing, no, she had never asked about or shown any interest in Vert's secret mix tapes, and she'd never thought about what having her own would be like, that would just be...

"You saying you want me to beat up your Oracle. Imagine what kind of leverage I'd have with something like that. It's such a good idea, I scare myself!"

... _infuriating!_

Neptune gave Noire a devilish smirk. It was more fitting of Purple Heart, yet it didn't not belong all the same.

It worked like a charm.

"D-Do you think I'd do that again!? And after you tell me that..." Giving Neptune the dirtiest look she could muster, Noire turned to the screen. She looked the image of her Oracle dead on. "Kei... I..." There was a brief pause. Noire shot a glance towards Neptune. The CPU was still looking at her with that expression. That was all Noire needed to see to have her fire lit up. "Kick this lazy bum's butt or you're getting a pay cut! Do you hear me?! A big one too!"

Apparently the original goal of this match had been lost. Weren't they supposed to beat up their past loves for each other? That had been Noire's big idea... for whatever reason. Neptune still hadn't gotten that one, but then, Noire did a lot of things Neptune didn't understand.

And after Noire had done so well up until now too... It was a real shame. Neptune could only look at the other goddess with eyes full of pity, remorse, and regret now.

"U-waaaaah, Lonely Heart's gotten so lonely she's seeking love from a video game character she made herself... Soon you'll start drawing comics about you and them together and before long, you'll stop leaving your room... I feel so sorry for Uni, Noire..." Unable to stop herself, Neptune turned up her teasing to its highest level. For each shade of red higher that Noire's face went, Neptune found something inside of her get giddier and giddier. "Oh, hold that thought, I need to beat up your Oracle now."

"Y... You... I'll..." ... not actually finish that sentence, in the end.

Noire was soundly defeated. It was all according to Neptune's plan, which she would be quick to inform any onlookers translates to pudding in most cases.

Without another word, like a deflated balloon, Noire fell back into the couch and pressed her burning cheeks into her palms.

With this, Neptune felt like she had already gotten her win. Much as she loved games, it just seemed like she loved the reactions she got out of Noire more sometimes. But nevertheless, she had a real fight on her hands now! The game had loaded the avatars of herself and Kei into the office building she had picked at last, meaning it was finally time for her to show what she was made of. Now she just had to figure out a way to outdo Noire's perfect and she'd be set.

"Hmmm..." Neptune quirked a brow as she considered that new goal of hers. Was that... even possible, now that she thought about it? She looked at her companion, about to ask if the game had any better-than-perfect victory conditions, but found that Noire was still in no position to be answering questions. That just made her grin. "Oh well! I'll figure something out on my own."

When Noire finally spoke again, her head was still hidden away in her hands in an attempt to put out the flames her face had erupted into, but Neptune could still make out her words all the same.

" _K-K-KEI, KIIIILL HEEEEEEER!_ "

For some reason, with Noire cheering for "Kei," Neptune just found herself even more motivated to win this.

It was strange, but she couldn't deny it. She was _really_ looking forward to proving Noire wrong about this now. She knew that Nepgear and even Iffy both had more reason to want to than she did, but as her fingers started moving, it dawned on her that at some point — maybe even some point suspiciously recent — she had developed the strangest desire to break Kei Jinguji's nose.

And considering the previous fight, surely Noire wouldn't mind if she indulged herself, then, would she?

Neptune tightened her grip on her controller.

Lastation's Oracle better watch out, it's Neppin' time!


	5. Chapter 5

"I can't believe it..."

The the grueling battle between the Neptune and Kei characters in the mighty digital coliseum before them had concluded. Neptune had once watched without so much as breaking a sweat during this epic conflict, knowing without a doubt how it was to end. She had been the masterful player behind the Neptune avatar, after all!

... but when all was said and done...

The avatar representing Kei Jinguji stood triumphantly over the avatar representing Neptune.

It had not been as one sided as the previous battle had been, thankfully, but somehow, Neptune had managed to lose. Fantastically so at that.

"... Um... Hahaha..."

Things had not gone as expected.

"You lost, Neptune." Noire spoke flatly, at last speaking up now that the dust had settled. Neptune couldn't tell what the other goddess was thinking. It had been her idea, and she had been rooting for Kei, so she should be happy about this result, shouldn't she? "After all of that... Woo-ooow. I'm impressed..."

In truth, Noire felt a number of things. Most of all... She felt like laughing. It wouldn't be a good kind of laugh, at least as far as she knew it wouldn't be, but that was probably better than what Neptune might be expecting out of her right now.

Noire shook her head. She was annoyed. That's what she was. The target of her annoyance? Herself more than anything else.

She knew how Neptune was. She was the one who had gotten weird because of her own idea about the fighting game. She had been enjoying herself, hadn't she? Why go and spoil that getting so excited over a game? Goodness, Noire. Get a grip.

"You are?" Neptune pretended to perk up hearing this. She could do a comedy routine with Noire to lighten the mood, if nothing else. Offering a wide grin at the other CPU, Neptune made an exaggerated gesture towards the television screen. "Yeeeaaaah, I know, right? The part where I had her, but then she grabbed me and threw me into the desks for half my health was pretty awesome, right? Even in a game, work isn't healthy for me!"

Noire found a smirk starting to tug at her lips. She was starting to relax into their usual back and forth just hearing Neptune's voice, just having that tone leaving Neptune's lips, and she hadn't even said anything back yet.

"Oh, I see." Noire closed her eyes and nodded thoughtfully, as if to process Neptune's comment. She gave a considerate look to her companion and placed a gentle finger on her lips, tilting her head to the side — she was the picture of innocence. "So we need to beat you with desks until it doesn't hurt anymore for you to get work done. That's some good advice, Neptune. I'll let Histoire and Nepgear know about this right away."

Innocence?! This was the second coming of Sadie!

"No thank you! You will be doing nothing like that under my watch, Noire!" With dramatic point in tow, Neptune was sure she had successful avoided any potential concussions coming her way in the future.

Or so she thought.

"How about over your watch?" was what Noire nonchalantly offered to her in response.

Neptune blinked.

"Whoa..." Planeptune's CPU wasn't sure what to make of that. "That reference is either way too vague or way too obvious for your skill level, Noire... You should leave that kind of thing to the professionals."

Meaning herself, naturally.

"A-Ah..." Surprisingly, Noire didn't respond with a comeback. Was she embarrassed she had revealed an interest of hers? Oh ho ho, Neptune could use that! "Sorry, I was up late thinking about who would be a good fit for me to..." She trailed off. It was clear to both of them where Noire had been going with the statement, and what she had been wondering would be a good fit for her. It didn't need to be said at that point. "Never mind."

Neptune considered pursuing the matter — Noire had all but handed her the perfect opportunity for it, after all.

 _Hmmmm_... She'd let it go for now. It'd make for good ammo later on. Grinning toothily to herself, Neptune watched curiously as Noire picked up the controller off the table it had been set down on after Neptune's stunning defeat.

"Eeeehhhh, what'cha doin'?" Neptune tilted her head back and forth. Noire hadn't challenged her to another epic battle, so what was the other CPU's game this time? Gasping lightly, Neptune made a dramatic face. Could it _be_...?! "Gonna beat up Plutie again to rub it in?"

Noire wrinkled her nose.

"No, Kei." Noire's response was right to the point. Despite the look Neptune was giving her, she went about her business like it was perfectly natural to do so. "Hey... What's with that look? _Someone_ has to beat her tonight. Whether it's you or me behind the wheel, I'm making this happen. Only one of us shouldn't be the one to have it done, you know."

Why did it have to be tonight? There wasn't anything particularly different about it, as far as Neptune was aware. They'd talked about Kei, sure, but that was it.

Unable to decipher whatever was going on in Noire's mind, Neptune shrugged, leaning back into her seat to watch. If the black haired CPU wanted to be this way about it, then Neptune had no reason to stop her. If anything, she wanted to know why Noire hadn't done this to begin with.

Or at least she did for the first minute, up until she saw Noire entering the character creation again.

"Wait, we already have everyone made, don't we?" Neptune furrowed her brow, giving Noire the most scrutinizing look she could muster as the CPU began to start making a new avatar on the screen. "You and Kei are both already done and saved, so why are you back here? You're not making her easier to beat, are you? I don't care if it counts to you, it won't count for the world if-"

"I'm making you again."

Gesundheit?

"Why me?" The purple haired goddess asked. Sure enough, the body on screen certainly was resembling herself more than Noire, but... There was a Neptune already too, wasn't there? Not only that- "You already made the first me in the first place, didn't you? You gonna say I lost because of that now?"

That got a cocky laugh out of Noire.

"Ha, no, you lost because you're you." Ohhh, that hurts, Noire... You don't have to look so happy about rubbing that salt into the wound, you know!? "I'm going to make one from scratch because I want a clean record." The Neptune that beat Kei had never lost to her, after all. "Do you have a problem with this game having more yous in it? That's actually kind of modest of you... I'm impressed."

Neptune didn't get it, but she supposed everyone had their pride somewhere. In any case, she was about to take hold of the chance Noire had given her to compliment herself, when she stopped.

Noire was watching her very carefully, eyes almost twinkling.

Neptune's eyes widened in realization.

If Neptune did that... Then she wouldn't be modest at all, would she?!

 _Daaaaarn yoooouuuu, Noooiiiiiire!_

"O-Oh, you know me, ahahahaha..." Cursing Noire in her heart, Neptune flopped down onto the arm of the couch. At least Noire would be avenging her... Ever since earlier, she had _really_ wanted to see Kei lose, and to her specifically. At least Noire would be granting her that much. In a way... Seeing Noire do it rather than herself would have made her mad, but for some reason, Noire using _her_ to do it... It was actually satisfying in a different way.

Shaking away those thoughts and making her pose on the couch just a little more exotic, Neptune gave Noire a teasing look.

"Go on then, make an avatar out of me like one of your Leanbox girls."

Noire choked. She would've comically spat a drink out had she had one.

Thankfully, that was all Neptune had to say about the subject at that point — and she could at last get to making the second Neptune avatar with renewed vigor.

She just had perform as well as she did against Plutia once she was done actually making it, and everything would be fine.


	6. Chapter 6

For the second time in one afternoon-gone-on-evening, two CPUs found themselves sitting in front of the character creation screen of a certain fighting game. Noire was behind the wheel, just as she had been before, and as she had originally, it was her companion that she was making into a character on the screen before her. With the rest of the cast of fighters already made... which was namely just her opponent to be... this time around, things were a little less... hot blooded, so to speak.

Even so, Neptune couldn't help but notice Noire was going at it with the same quiet focus she had the first time.

It was perplexing, in a way. Hadn't she just made one of these? What was she doing, not copying the other one and moving on with things? Why did she insist on making this one from scratch again? Besides for some clothes, if Noire had a change of heart about those, Neptune was pretty sure it was going to turn out exactly the same.

Because Noire seemed like she had an eye for detail, and more than that, she seemed to somehow _really_ have an eye for...

... Hm.

Neptune found that train of thought a rather precarious one, and did not pursue it further. There was fog ahead. The path was not clear enough for her to dare risk it. It might lead to the secret final boss, and she still needed to deal with the first one before she could go after the true ending.

Yep. That was the story she would stick with, she decided.

And so, once more, they just sat like that for a while. Two goddesses and their game. Nothing weird about that... except that it was weird that there _wasn't_ anything weird about it...? That was... weird!

Neptune's unusual thoughts aside, comfortable silence fell over them once more, save the occasional comment here and there, such as...

"Hey, Neptune, if you wore glasses, what color frames would you wear?" Noire had opened up the menu for facial features and accessories on the game's trusty editor. Naturally, things like glasses, were among the choices. If Noire was hoping to get some information for any other purposes, for her own personal _research_ perhaps, now would be the time after akk.

However...

"Whatever ones came with a funny mustache nose." Neptune smiled brightly as she answered.

"Ohhhh! Forget it, there's nothing like that here!" Noire should have known it would be like that! Why had she even bothered...

 _... or..._

Noire suddenly found something tapping her on the shoulder.

"Hey, you got my eyes wrong this time." To her surprise, it was Neptune — and in extremely close proximity at that.

"I did?" Noire looked from the screen to Neptune and back to the screen again. Specifically, she wanted to keep her eyes on the screen. Specifically, she wanted to scoot away, because Neptune had gotten in her space all of a sudden, and she would rather like to be in her own space right now, but just as she thought this-

"Yeah, look." When did Neptune get bold enough to put her hands on shoulders like this?!

"No, I'm pretty sure..." Noire averted her gaze. Did Neptune have _any idea_ what she was doing...?

Then again... Noire shot a look at the screen. She wanted this to be absolutely perfect. If Neptune did too, then it would be all the better. Why was she getting distracted?

"Come _over here_ and _look._ _at. me._ "

"..."

"Well?"

"... You're right, I should've gone one shade over..." Noire nodded. Neptune let her go after her resignation, and despite herself, Noire offered a small smile to the other CPU. She was glad. She wanted this to be just right. "Thanks."

 _... or..._

Neptune was wondering if Noire knew that she was working on a very light tan when she heard the CPU in question's voice suddenly. She wondered why she had been wondering that.

"Can I put you in something like that dress you wore after we all made that truce?" Noire was looking at Neptune head on with this one. She hadn't asked this question the first time, had she...

Naturally, this meant she just _had_ to ask about it.

"Huh? That's pretty specific, Noire. How come?"

"Well, I want it to be like Kei is interrupting something and you're fed up, so you..." Noire trailed off. Would Neptune pick up on the rest? Who could say?

"Ooooh, you've got a whole scenario in mind?!" Neptune's reaction made Noire wonder if Neptune ever thought about anything.

"N-Neptune?"

"Okay, do it, do it! I wanna see!"

 _... it was that sort of thing._

It was simple, comfortable conversation about... well... nothing in particular, was it?

All the while, Neptune watched Noire work. She had watched Noire play games before, and at this point, she had watched Noire make a Neptune before too. Just like then, there was something that seemed to pull her in that she couldn't quite... capture, exactly. At this point, as far as Neptune was concerned, she could puff out her chest in pride. She didn't need to beat Kei — the fact Noire had spent _this much time_ on not one, but _two_ Neptunes, yet had put together the Kei avatar in five minutes was all the victory Neptune felt she needed in her book.

When she started feeling like she needed that victory... to be totally truthful, she wasn't sure, but now that she had it, she was perfectly content relaxing and watching Noire work her magic. And as soon as the game got underway, she'd be able to make all the remarks she'd been holding back during this process too.

If she had to describe the feeling she had right now... It really was cozy. Maybe even more than just that.

 _It was like..._

Neptune bit her lip. It occurred to her that she had been staring at Noire for an absurdly long amount of time now. She had been enjoying it too. Was she turning into a creeper? Was she plotting something behind her own back? Was there mind control afoot?!

 _... It almost like..._

... What was it Plutie had said again...?

"I'd only been for something, huh..."

"Eh?" Completely unaware of the inner turmoils going on within the CPU on the couch with her, Noire blinked. She blinked many times actually. She suddenly felt like a lot of time had passed — looking at the avatar that would be one of their characters in her (using the Neptune avatar) and Kei's Epic Final Fight For Neptune's Heart For Real (Because Neptune Messed It Up) (TM) (Trademark Pending) later, though, she knew she had not wasted the time. Although if she didn't know better, she could have sworn she had heard Neptune speak up. She spared a quick glance to her side to chance a look at Neptune. She seemed to be thinking pretty seriously over there. "Did you say something?"

Their eyes locked.

Noire, for the world not having a clue that anything had changed between now and when they had had a serious discussion about why Neptune's avatar couldn't have horns earlier.

Neptune, slowly looking like a light bulb was going off over her head, its power source the events of the evening up to then — and perhaps many, many more before even those.

"Hey... Hey, Neptune, is... everything okay...?" Noire started off speaking slowly. Neptune was looking at her in a way that was both familiar and alien. The only thing that came to mind was that Neptune was probably sick — very rarely had she seen Neptune sick, after all. "We can stop if you're not feeling-"

Without warning, Neptune exploded.

Figuratively of course.

"Everything's _great_ , Noire!" Bursting into a mile wide smile, then going a few dozen meters further for good measure, Neptune scooted more feet closer than they had been apart to begin with and draped an arm around Noire's shoulder. Her eyes were lit up with something that Noire had never seen before. "No, actually, everything's _better_ than great — it's Neptastic!"

"Wh-Wh-Wha- G-Get off of me!" Lighting up like a Pongsmas tree, Noire struggled to escape the sudden, unexpected affection(?) of the other CPU. What was going on here? What had she done to deserve this? Was this some kind of annoying reverse punishment?! _Had someone replaced Neptune with an alien?!_ _And did any of that matter when she was still so cloooooooseeeee...?!_ "W-W-Why are you so clingy all of a sudden!?"

Neptune looked at Noire innocently.

"Didn't you hear the ding?" Neptune nodded seriously, as if what she was saying would explain everything. "Our Lily Rank just went up!"

"What!?" Noire didn't have to check their status to know that that couldn't be true because it had hit the max years ago to get some true ending or another... R-Right? "I didn't hear about this!"

"Ding!" was Neptune's response.

Despite the fact that Neptune was, essentially on top of her at this point, and that had her burning bright red, Noire couldn't help but stop to give the other CPU a look.

"N... N... _Neptune_..." Deep breaths, Noire. Deep breaths. There's no one on top of you, she told herself. There are no legs on top of yours, she told herself. There's no arm around her shoulder, she told herself. There's no face _way too close_ , she told herself. "What... was _that_ supposed to be? That... That 'Ding!' just now..."

"Our Lily Rank going up." Neptune explained simply, looking for the world like it was the most _obvious_ thing _ever_.

"Eh?" Noire froze. She had _seen_ Neptune's mouth- Their sprites _moved_ for goodness sakes! "But _you_ did tha-"

"Ding!"

"Hey, sto-"

"Ding!"

"I-I can _see_ you-"

"Ding!"

"N-Neptu-"

" _S-Seriousl_ -"

"Ding!"

"I mean i-"

"Ding! Ding! Ding!"

"Th-Th-They don't even _go_ that high-"

"Ding!"

"H-Hold on a-"

"Ding!"

"L-Listen! W-We're not even grinding it, so that's not possible-"

"Grinding? Oh, that's easy! We can 'grind' if you want us to!"

" _ **GET OFF OF ME!**_ "

That may have been the line.

* * *

 _In Neptune's defense, she would point out Noire had been the one to assume what kind of 'grinding' Neptune had been thinking about doing in that moment, whereas Neptune had yet to do anything yet to give Noire enough evidence yet that could yet definitively point to her as the one who was going to do that yet at that time!_

 _Sadly, Neptune would never go on to become the lawyer she always had dreamed of being._

 _Even if Noire really_ had _been wrong about Neptune's intentions..._

* * *

Arms flailing desperately in the air, secretly hoping she could take Noire down with her, Neptune found herself falling flat on her butt — and alone at that? what a bummer! had the goddess of cliches finally forsaken her?! — after being unceremoniously shoved off of Noire's lap... which she _may_ have climbed completely on top of at some point or another. And Noire, ohhhh, she was _so_ red right now — she was glaring at Neptune and she just looked _mad_. She was _fuming_!

Neptune wasn't sure what she did wrong, though, honest she wasn't! Had she gotten too bold too fast? Should she have started with some pudding? ... O-kaaaaay, even _she_ could see where she might have gone wrong.

She should have changed into a maid costume first, right? Noire was into stuff like that, right?

"You... You..." Fists clenched tight at her sides, Noire was wrapped in shining light. When it faded, though her furiously steaming red face remained, her clothes had been exchanged for processors and her face was of the goddess Black Heart. "You _jerk_! I'm going home!"

Oh... Oh. Neptune understood what had happened. Neptune understood it all now.

So the goddess of cliches had chosen to side with Noire tonight, huh...?! She was siding with _Noire_?! After all of their years of happiness together?!

That _traitor_! That... _skank_!

... R-Regardless...!

Neptune wasn't that goofy to get so caught up in her monologue that she was going to ignore what happened. It really seemed like she really had pushed too far, huh? Noire was gonna have to get used to that, even if she didn't like Neptune too, but for now Neptune had to-

"Wait, Comfy Heart, don't have a meltdown or anything, your eyes will turn yellow and you won't be able to fly home! I was just teas-"

" _Home!_ " Like she was so flustered she couldn't even completely repeat herself, Noire gave Neptune the biggest, fiercest, angriest glare she could muster, and made for the window.

For her part in things, Neptune at least had the brains not to chase after her with her so mad at this point... but she sure wasn't intending to apologize for it. She did kind of want to call up Plutie and tell her she owed her some pudding after all, though... Maybe. Then again, she didn't want to have to get into the fight on the game that had led up to this with _Plutie_ of all people... There'd be nothing left of her to tease Noire with if she did that...

Neptune shook her head. There was so much going on inside right now, phone calls could wait!

Despite the loss of the black haired... well, right now she was silver haired since she had transformed so she could fly away, but... really that was besides the point... Right! So despite the loss of the _dalmatian_ haired whatever Noire was to her now, Neptune was still grinning as she watched the other CPU fly off into the distance. All things considered, she was feeling... _good_. Really good. Really, really, _really_ good.

Like... Like... Even better than the one time Plutia had "punished" her, and instead of being scared she had come out of it trying to figure out how to get her to do it again good.

 _That_ good.

"Noire better be ready, 'cause she may be sick of Nep-Nep now, but when I get through with her, she'll be begging for more of this love machine!" Clapping her hands together mischievously, her eyes twinkled — no, the _air itself_ began twinkling around Neptune. "She's got no idea what's coming for her!"

Little did Neptune know that in reality, _she_ was the one who had no idea.

Needless to say, it was a good thing that that attitude was one of the many, many things Noire liked about her.

* * *

Noire groaned.

She rolled over and threw her fourth pillow across her bedroom. Not even the poofy smack it made against the wall brought her pleasure.

Every time she got comfortable... She started _thinking_ , and that was the last thing she wanted right now. Grimacing, she called out another one out of her inventory and grabbed it, hugging it close. She wasn't sure if she wanted to yell into it or what, but she wasn't going to get _any_ sleep if this kept up!

All she could think about that night was Neptune.

It figured, really, because Neptune was exactly what she had gone to sleep early in the hopes of _not_ thinking about her anymore.

"Why was she doing that anyway? Did she... Did she figure me out and decide to tease me about it?" Noire bit her lip. She didn't like that idea... but knowing Neptune — and she felt like, after how much they had shared with each other, today in particular, she truly could say she _did_ know the other CPU... m-moderately well... N-Not that it was like she _wanted_ to or a-anything, just... Whatever! "No... I don't think she'd do that."

There was a brief pause.

"... Probably..."

Sighing, Noire rolled back over and closed her eyes, thinking back to the day's events... Not just the end, the end that she had run from at that, but all of it.

It really had been fun, hadn't it?

Weird and... a little too touchy feely too fast for her, at least she thought it was, but... it had been fun.

"..."

Slowly, at long last, Noire began to drift off to sleep. Positive feelings and good memories tended to do that to most people, and Noire was no exception.

She didn't go off to the land of dreams without murmuring something, however. She didn't even realize herself she had spoken aloud, yet it most certainly left her lips as the curled upwards into a smile and she faded away to sleep.

"... Ding..."

 **end**


End file.
